5 Reasons Why I’ve Loved Being Pregnant During the Pandemic
By Sarah Potter
December 27, 2020
I’ll be honest, I thought being pregnant during a pandemic was going to be really difficult, but the truth is it’s actually been really wonderful.
A huge reason it’s been so great is because I don’t have to deal with other people. Now I am well aware of the fact that I’m an extrovert, and I totally understand why some people will say they don’t believe that I love being pregnant during a pandemic and being all alone.
But if you’ve ever been pregnant, totally understand. I don’t have to deal with the people touching me. I don’t have to deal with people telling me how big I am. I don’t have to deal with people saying other random comments that have absolutely nothing to do with my experience being pregnant.
So, for those of you who are moms looking into being pregnant or getting pregnant during a pandemic, this blog is going to give you a few reasons it’s been so wonderful being pregnant during the pandemic.
#1 No more rude comments
Yes, people say rude shit to pregnant people. What’s crazy to me is the fact that people think that it’s OK to say some of these things to pregnant women. Here are a few things that people say to women that are just absolutely insane “Wow are you sure there aren’t Twins in there?” Or “Oh my God, you’re so small you barely look pregnant.” Or my favorite “You look so tired and sick and swollen and miserable I hope you get some sleep soon,” like, yes Becky (no offense to Becky’s who are on the opposite side of this) thanks for telling me what I already know–I look awful and I’m tired.
Now I realize that there are many people who just think that they’re making light conversation or being jokey or trying to lighten the mood about a pregnant woman’s state of being. But the fact remains that you just shouldn’t say these kinds of things to people. Today’s parents have a really great article with a slew of other terrible things that you should never say to a pregnant woman, and this goes the same way for men.
During this pandemic, I haven’t had to listen to literally anyone say those comments to me. And if I’m forgetting one or two people who have in fact said that to me it’s been so minimal that I just completely ignore it and I’ve probably also told them please don’t say that kind of stuff to me because it’s really hurtful.
#2 No one is touching me
I never really understood why so Many people feel it’s OK to touch a pregnant woman’s belly. Someone being pregnant is not consent for you to walk up to them and put your hand on their belly. When I was pregnant with my first son Fox, the number of people who would just walk up to me and instantly put their hand on my body was insane. I could not for the life of me understand how inappropriate that was. As a person who has been through physical abuse, it is really terrifying for someone I barely know to walk up to me and just instantly start touching my body. And frankly, it’s very insensitive for anybody to walk up to a pregnant woman and assume that them being pregnant is permission for them to touch someone.
Would you want me to come up to you and touch your body and say things like “Oh wow you’ve gained so much weight, you must be bloated,” or “Wow you are so thin let me feel your abs!!” Now before you try to jump down my throat and say it’s not the same thing as being pregnant, my body is not your body. A pregnant woman’s body is also not your body. Being pregnant is not consent for touching. Ask before you touch and if someone doesn’t want to be touched, you need to be OK with that because it’s not your body.
#3 I don’t have to hear, “Everyone knows what you’ve been up to!”
This is just one of the most absolutely disgusting things I’ve ever heard someone say to me. When I got pregnant with Fox, my first son, people would walk up to me and say “Well, I know what you’ve been up to!” Like no **** I had sex and got pregnant. It’s not rocket science. I don’t need you to announce to the world that I’ve been having sex.
Something I’ve heard a lot of pregnant women experienced during the pandemic are people saying to them, “well you’ve been busy staying at home.” In no way or time period is it OK to comment on someone’s sex life publicly. First gross, second none of your business.
Whether it’s during a pandemic, you should never, ever, ever have to say to someone that you know what they’ve been doing. It’s creepy, it’s gross, and it’s none of your goddamn business.
#4 No one comments on how much coffee I’m drinking
When I was pregnant with Fox anytime I had a Cup of coffee, or a frappuccino, or anything with any traces of caffeine in it I would always receive comments of how I should watch my caffeine intake and people saying “Isn’t that bad for the baby?” What I put into my body or don’t put into my body is none of your business. If I’m choosing to have a cup of coffee, I think that it’s safe to say that I can speak with my doctor about it. No one needs to be commenting on what a pregnant woman is or isn’t putting in her body or saying that what she’s doing is wrong.
Every body is different. Some women don’t do any caffeine during their pregnancy. In some women end up having caffeine during their pregnancy. For me, I have a lot of migraines and a lot of chronic pain that caffeine helps. And on average a pregnant woman can have up to 200 milligrams of caffeine per day and have it caused no harm to the fetus. I tried not to have caffeine in the beginning of my pregnancy, but it caused me more pain than anything else. So I have a couple cups of coffee a day sometimes I don’t have any coffee during the day and that’s great, but that’s also between me, my husband, and my doctor.
#5 I don’t have to talk about how long it took it get pregnant or comment on whether we were trying
Infertility is a huge issue in America, and across the entire world. I’m really fortunate that I haven’t had to deal with infertility. I have had a miscarriage, and it was one of the most heartbreaking gut wrenching experiences of my life and I never want to go through it again nor do I want anyone else to have to experience that.
But asking questions to pregnant women or couples who are pregnant about how long it took for them to get pregnant or whether we planned the pregnancy is really none of your business.
It does not matter how long it took for that couple to get pregnant, the fact of the matter is they’re pregnant now so either be happy for them and stop asking your rude questions or say nothing at all. This is also just a really insensitive thing to ask people who have been dealing with infertility.
Those who struggle with infertility often spend years and months trying to get pregnant through a variety of different means, and it’s a very emotional process. There are also people who get pregnant really quickly and don’t want to talk about how easy it was for them because they are also trying to be sensitive to those who are talking about their infertility struggles.
Not to mention there are a lot of women in the world who’ve gone through several miscarriages and then finally got pregnant with their rainbow baby. Talking about how many times it took for them to get pregnant with this baby they’re having now is even more difficult because they are just reminded of the trauma of going through a miscarriage.
Whether it was an accident or a planned pregnancy, it’s still none of your business. My husband and I planned our pregnancy and I get this question a lot because we have kids already and I look young. It’s really frustrating for me to hear people ask whether this pregnancy was planned because it’s just none of their business, simple.
I have really enjoyed my pandemic pregnancy, mainly because I don’t have to deal with any of the stuff I listed above. I am a person who both enjoys being around other people and also enjoys having time alone. Me not having to worry about any of these things is totally fine with me.
The pandemic may wind down according to some people, but the fact remains that pregnant women are at high risk for contracting COVID-19 compared to the rest of the world. Having a baby during a pandemic is a huge decision. The most important thing about this is that it’s your decision and your partner’s decision and no one else’s. So if you decide to have a baby during the pandemic go for it you will spend a lot of time at home connecting with your baby, and a lot of time at home between you and your partner where you guys can grow closer together as a family by focusing on the miracle of life.
If you have been pregnant during this pandemic, I’d love to know what your experience is. Comment below and let me know how you’ve been coping with being pregnant during the pandemic and what interesting insights you have into your pregnancy.
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