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Scroll through for beach vibes.

This was a trip took into San Diego back in 2018 and New Year’s. It was a really wonderful experience for just Fox and I to go on a California adventure together.

I would venture is now surrounded by Ted and Arya and the new baby, and while these trips are wonderful I’m still at times long for the days of my solo trips with Fox.

These trips were a bonding experience.

These trips were to introduce a little bit of chaos to Fox’s structured life.

These trips were love.

#beachvibes #beachday #sandiego #sunrise #oceanphotography #beachwaves #surfingislife #adventures #singlemomlife #motherandson #familytime #familytrip

We created this.

My body created life.

My body changed and morphed into a vessel for his life.

Widening hips
Growing belly
A heart becoming fuller and fuller.

Here I sit, today, holding this life in my arms.
He rests and listens to the comforting sounds of my heart beat.

It beats for him.
It beats for his brother.
It beats for his sister.
It beats for his daddy.

We are a blended family.
Two halves of a whole united in love and light through the creation of this little one.

Some days are hard.
Some days just suck.
Some days are beautiful.
But no matter the type of day we have, you little one bring us together.

This little one is the connector between our two halves. The glue between our collective hearts. Merging us into wholeness.

This small life that came from my body has left me with reminders.

Each line of love is a symbol of the strength it took to grow him.

The heart and soul we put in to making him.

The mothers love I had in my heart from day one.

I praise these reminders for what they have given to me.

Two boys, two hearts apart of mine, forever.

💕

#poetrycommunity #mompoetry #papayacommunity #motherslove #boymom #realityofmotherhood #fullheart #bodypositive

Can’t get enough of this baby.

Sheets - Star Wars collection at @potterybarnkids

Swaddle - I love you from @cloudislandbytarget

One full week of life.

One full week postpartum.

I’ve gone from 223 lbs to i don’t care how many lbs.

I’ve gone from 8 hours of sleep to MAYBE 5 hours of sleep.

I’ve been peed on, puked on, slobbered on, sucked on, loved on, cuddle on, and laid on.

I’m both a source of comfort and love and kisses and nourishment.

Dax eats 10+ times a day and I can barely get any pumping in.

I’ve binged watched @workinmoms and rewatched some feel good Star Trek.

I haven’t been able to open my laptop yet because in between feedings, pumping, healing from a c-section, people coming to see the new baby, and Ted and I staring at Dax in wonderment I just haven’t had time.

My nips hurt and my body is tired, but my heart is full.

Happy one week Dax, we love you. (Also please love @starwars, PLEASE.)

“Use the force Dax!”

Today is a very different Mother’s Day. I am waking up with a milk stained shirt and leakage all down my chest. A baby swaddled in a grogu blanket lays between Ted and I as we begin our co-sleeping journey with Dax. I am lacking more sleep than before-4 hours total from the night.

Dax’s most active time period is 2:30-4:00 am. Last night as I lay feeding him I realize just how sore my breasts are but am so grateful for the pain. You see, with Fox, I wasn’t able to breast feed. My milk wasn’t coming in. I felt like a failure of a mother and couldn’t understand why my milk wouldn’t come in despite all my best efforts. I grieved at the loss of that experience with Fox.

All of these emotions around breast feeding are so real for so many women and so many of us choose not to disclose our shame, guilt, frustration, and pain on social media. And understandably so! But this time around I want to confront the shame I felt eight years ago and remind myself that I am no failure, I still did everything to provide for Fox. I sacrificed a lot for Fox and that is what matters more - the ways in which I mother Fox not whether or not I breast fed him. Who Fox is today, who he will be tomorrow, is far more important than boob milk.

That isn’t to say though I am overjoyed and cried like a baby when my milk came into two weeks ago 😂. My main point is I want the women here to know that you are amazing whether or not you breast feed-keeping being the badass mother you are and celebrate today as your day of badassery.

✨Happy Mother’s Day ✨

#papayacommunity #starwarsbaby #mothersday #happymothersday2021 #newbornphotography

My two boys ❤️.

Both cesarean. One life changing, the other life bringing. Two very different experiences I’m going to be writing about this week because the difference between emergency and planned are HUGE.

Baby photo dump!

Here we go! On our way to the hospital to have this baby. Water has broken and it is time! We will share more with you all later.

#popgoesthebaby #babytime #babycoming #pregnantnomore #newborn #newparents #prefnancylife #givingbirth #birthing #papayacommunity #newbaby

The last time I said “I do” was actually today as I signed documents for Fox’s new state benefits applications.

After four long years of waiting for state benefits for Fox, and autism diagnosis for fox, validation for foxes intellectual disability, and four years of advocating for my pride and joy Fox has finally gotten through the hardest part of being approved for state benefits.

For those who don’t know Fox is autistic. He has been diagnosed since he was three years old by a clinical psychologist at his school. This was never good enough for the state. This was never good enough for health insurance. We had to go through years of waiting just to get an appointment at Phoenix Children’s Hospital. We had to go through years and months of waiting just to be matched up with an eligibility coordinator through the state. All the while I paid for Fox’s therapy on my own completely out of my own pocket with no health insurance coverage.

For a while I was able to afford the 600+ dollars per month that it cost to have Fox in just two therapies. What a lot of people don’t understand is that those who are autistic require many different kinds of therapies to help them understand and learn how to use the tools that will best help them in life. I don’t seek to make Fox in normal part of society. I’m not not normal nor do I want any of my children to be “normal.” Fox wants to be a dad someday he wants to be an inventor someday and he can’t do any of those things without being given a set of tools that helps him adapt to his world.

There is an argument in the autism community where the world should be adapting to autistics and autistic should be adapting to the world and as a parent it’s really hard to find a line to walk there. My only goal is to continually support Fox in whatever adventures, endeavors, or life choices he wants to make.

#autismawareness #autismacceptance #autism #papayacommunity #acceptance #endurance #keeppushingforward #motherofdragons #momlife #momofboys #babyboy #growingup #boymom #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness

**Eating disorder trigger warning**

Another day, another bath, another BCB, another day where I struggle with anxiety and reflect on how anorexia has affected me during pregnancy.

As I near the end of pregnancy here I’ve been really focused on staying under a certain weight-like I have been the whole time. I’ve been obsessive with what I eat, how much I eat, the things I eat, and how many calories or fat foods have. This not only stems from the self consciousness I had as a teen but from the mental abuse I suffered at the hands of my ex.

During my pregnancy with Fox I gained 50 lbs, was called a fat cow, a fat bitch, and many other things. Being pregnant again and struggling with the number on the scale has forced me to relive the trauma of my first pregnancy in my mind. So as I sit here eating another burrito to get things moving down below, I remind myself that I am not my trauma, the number on the scale, or the expectations I feel from society.

I am me. I love my body for taking me on this journey. I love my husband for supporting me through my anorexic struggles during pregnancy-validating me at every turn and helping me stay strong.

#disorderedeating #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderawareness #anxietyawareness #anxietysupport #pregnantandanxious #anxiousmoms #motherly #papayacommunity #bcb #bodypositivity #healthyminds

Kids and social media. Kids and FB messenger. Kids and text message etiquette. Kids and body positivity.

So much covered this week on @socialmedia.therapy. Swipe through for a few clips and share your experiences with kids and social media in the comments!

#motherandson #socialmedia #kidsandsocialmedia #socialmediatherapy #momlife #podcasther #podcastsforwomen #podcastsbywomen #socialtherapy #anxietymanagement

The excessive use of social media over the years has left people with a higher level of anxiety, depression, isolation, and FOMO. Changing our habits in order to create a more sustainable version of ourselves online is a key aspect of this week’s episode. But we also talk about how social media plays a role in not just our own mental health but those of teens and kids.

I sat down and spoke with Amanda from Amanda‘s World. She’s a 16-year-old ADHD New Yorker with her own podcast. She’s quite an impressive individual and definitely gives me a lot of inspiration for how far so many of us can go when we set our minds to things. My interview with @amanda_penny_14 not only focused on how she started this podcast of hers and what she talks about in the people she’s met, but I also try to understand a little more about how she manages her own self on social media.

It’s a fantabulous episode and worth listening to. Amanda’s tips are so applicable to adults.

#podcastsofinstagram #papayacommunity #podcastsbywomen #mentalhealth #anxietymanagement #therapypodcast #mentalhealthawareness #teensandanxiety #anxietyrelief #podcasther #podcastlife #mentalhealthpodcast #socialmediatherapy

Apparently, a parenting trend happening right now is the "lawnmower parent." ⁠⁠
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In a nutshell, a lawnmower parent acts in a way that cuts down any problem that dares cross their child’s path. “Instead of preparing children for challenges,” the teacher describes, “they mow obstacles down so kids won’t experience them.”⁠⁠
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The problem with a lawnmower parenting approach is that your child never has to struggle or fail as they go through their early life. (And you thought being a helicopter parent was terrible.)⁠⁠
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Why would you not want your kids to overcome their challenges? What fun is there in never really understanding and getting a backbone as a parent?⁠⁠
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As parents, we always want to ensure we're doing what we can to protect our kids, but removing any difficulties from their lives is wrong, especially for parents of kids with Autism and other special needs.⁠⁠
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Each child regardless of disability needs to be treated as all other average kids. It's just going to take a few extra steps. Don't be the mom that demands their kids be given the easy route. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⁠⁠
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This is one parenting trend that needs to die a quick death.⁠⁠
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(NOT A PICTURE OF DAX...I feel like I'm sharing photos of me and fox that are faking people out lol.)⁠⁠
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#lawnmowerparent #helicopterparent #overprotective #parenting #parentingtips #newmom #postpartum #newborn #parenting #parentingishardaf #parenthood #motherhood #difficultiesinparenting #protectingourkids #kidsandmoms

Just a real life update without the smiles, giggles, and silliness I usually bring to the table.

Just reality. It’s midnight at home and I’m in so much pain. I’m ready to be done but have to make it one more week.

If you want to test the sheer strength of a woman’s body, put her through weeks of early labor and the final days leading up to birth. It is no easy feat.

#honestmotherhood #honestparenting #honestpregnancy #papayacommunity #pregnancy #pregnancyjourney #chronicillness #chronicpain #earlylabor #pregnancydiary #realitycheck

Growing up in Washington left me with the biggest tree hugger hippie vibes possible. Being as earth conscious as possible has been some thing that I have worked really hard to instill in our kids. Earth Day for me isn’t just about understanding the ways in which we need to be conscious of our planet and preserve our planet, but also taking a greater appreciation for the earth around us. I often find this really difficult to do in Arizona because it’s pretty much a desert. Going north in Arizona allows me to feel back in touch with my roots, but it’s just not the same.

In Seattle the focus on being green is so much stronger than it is here in Arizona. I often see you so much waste by the side of the road here in Arizona versus back home in Seattle. Whenever my kids and I are out and about, which has been minimal’s with Covid, I try to make sure that I keep them aware of whatever garbage might be surrounding them and ask them to pick it up. I miss going to the zoo and the conservation centers around Arizona with the kids. This was often a really fun activity to help teach them about our planet and our environment as well as get them in touch with nature and find their love for it.

i’m really grateful for shows like wild Kratts from @pbskids and Daniel tiger for teaching basic lessons on being conservative with our resources in our planet. These shows have really taught Fox how to be more conscious of the planet and he takes a lot of great care for the animals in the nature that surrounds us.

Continue making Earth healthy again, as Fox says. Together we can heal the planet.

Prioritize the things that are important to you and the things that bring you pleasure, and outsource everything else when possible.⁠⁠
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Focusing on the truly relevant parts of life can help you build free time in your schedule. And take advantage of convenient opportunities to practice idleness, like when you’re standing in line or waiting for the children to come home from school.⁠⁠
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Teach this to your kids too! Let them be bored. ⁠⁠
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#anothergrowingopportunity #alwaysgrowing #lookatyougrow #notetoself #keepgoing #positivereminders #positivequotes #quoteoftheday #qotd #mentalhealthquotes #mentalhealthadvocate #mentalhealthart #wellbeing #fighter #selfcompassion #selfcare #selfloveclub #youwillbeokay #invisibleillnesses #mentalhealthmatters #recovery #recoveryquotes #anxioussoul

20 days until Dax is born. All I want are @susspastries poptarts. ⁠⁠
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#pregnant #expecting #mommytobe #pregnantlife #babyontheway #poptarts #pasteries #bakedgoods #hungry #pregnancycraving #cravings #breakfastfood

STOP POSTING ON INSTAGRAM STORIES... ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⁠
...when you’re out enjoying life and experiencing something new. Now, I’m not saying stop posting to Instagram Stories, I’m saying change the way you do it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⁠
When you’re so focused on how you’re presenting yourself on Instagram stories whole you’re out you are not engaged in the world around you. You’re buried in your phone! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⁠
Today while I was out with the kids I 100% took lots of photos and videos of them playing around throughout my experiences with them. But never once did I actually post to Instagram stories until we were home and the two of them were engaged elsewhere.⁠
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Why did I do this? Because I don’t want my kids to see me buried in my phone and ignoring them. Not only that but I want to fully enjoy my time with them. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⁠
Aside from being able to enjoy my time more, I’m able to provide true focus and attentiveness to creating a fun narrative in my Instagram stories as opposed to feeling rushed to put something together or risk sloppiness. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⁠
Check out my stories later today and I’ll point out three ways you can enjoy life more without missing an Insta Story moment! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#socialmediatip #socialmediainfluencer #businessadvice #socialmediasuccess #socialmediamanagement #socialmediapromotion #socialmediaconsultant #instagramforbusiness #marketingtools #instagramtips #marketingmonday #creativityeveryday #brandingcoach #fbads #digitalmarketingtips #coachingbusiness #lifecoachforwomen #creativitysquared #confidencecoach #lifecoachinghappiness #socialmedianews #socialmediatrainer #lifestylecoach #coachingonline #instagramads #b2bmarketing #creativityatitsfinest #creativebizbabes #coachingtips #smallbusinessmarketing

BABY WATCH DAY FIVE

Contractions keep coming and I’m pretty sure I only had five yesterday...but I honestly lost count.

I had the second Covid vaccine does yesterday and didn’t have a terrible time with it aside from feeling tired and having a super swollen arm.

I had baby shower part one at my moms house yesterday and we got some super cute things for baby boy! It was Star Wars themed and low key, just the way I like life rn.

If you swipe through you can see some pics my mom took and the last photo Ted getting weird with the baby belly 🤣.

Today is a resting day aside from a little bit of work, an on-boarding call for Facebook ads, and I’m going to try and finish the Tatooine suns I’m pairing for them baby’s room.

It might not sound like a lot, but it is when you’re contracting. Crossing my fingers that contractions are kept at bay today!

Lastly, I’m dilated about 1/2 cm currently...moving up my appointment with the OB to get checked again.

Happy Monday!

#papayacommunity #babycoming #relaxingbath #bathtime #pothosplant #bubblebath #epsomsaltbath #selfcare #pregnantbelly #takeiteasy #breathe #mondaymorning #sleepingbeauty #randr #pregnantlife

I used to think that success was buying nice things for myself. And I truly believed that all the way until February of 2019. ⁠⁠
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Not that long ago that I thought buying nice expensive things was the epitome of success. Why did I think that? Because that is what so much of the media and society tells us what makes us successful. It wasn’t until I realized how in love with Ted, that I truly understood what success is. ⁠⁠
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Success isn’t sitting there buying Kate Spade watches for myself! It’s enjoying the life and love that is happening around me. And the same goes for you. We can make all the money in the world, but if we are truly happy and satisfied with who we are and who we are with, then we are unsuccessful. In the end, I understand everyone defines success for themselves, but if you are sitting there right now wondering why your glamorous arm candy isn’t making you happy, look inward. ⁠⁠
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#katespade #loveyourlife #feministquotes #beingawoman #denimlife #selfcare #selflove #happiness #wednesdaythoughts #armcandy #success #whatissuccess #entrepreneurquotes #entrepreneurlife #truelove #liveyourlife #carpediem #liftyourselfup

It's hard to be open and honest with myself sometimes. I've had a lot of failure this year. I'd be lying if I said it didn't scare me. I've never been more uncertain about my future than I was back in the beginning of 2020. It's incredibly difficult for me to ask for help but over the pandemic I've grown to understand that it's okay to ask for help. We all need help from time to time.⁠⁠
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Someone wise once told me the strongest people ask for help often. I wish I had realized this sooner. I allowed myself to be weak and ignore the problems that were building in my life. This includes a slew of mental health struggles, physical health, my happiness, and financial struggles. When I finally reached out and asked for help I became clearer on my goals and ambitions.⁠⁠
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Over the past year, I've gone from grinding at work I didn't enjoy to...⁠⁠
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- Launching a podcast⁠⁠
- Removing social media management from my services⁠⁠
- Saying yes to the RIGHT projects for me⁠⁠
- Designing more⁠⁠
- Helping businesses build systems and processes for their employees⁠⁠
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The past year of figuring shit out has been difficult AF but now that I'm here I can easily say that it's a lot easier for me to see my future–especially with a baby on the way! ⁠⁠
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How do you work on getting clear about your goals? ⁠⁠
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#mindfulness #selfcare #wellness #anxiety #depression #recovery #mentalhealthawareness #healing #mentalillness #mentalhealthmatters #psychology #healthylifestyle #healthyliving #meditation #clarity #workingonmygoals #phx #yesphx #phoenixblogger

Welp it’s another day of being pregnant only today we’re experiencing fun contractions all day!

Keeping them timed using the @oviahealth app. I took this pic this morning to keep a visual of how much baby boy drops day to day, and soon after BAM contractions.

I’m laying down and relaxing now per Dr. Ted’s orders since the triage nurse still hasn’t called us back.

but I want to take a minute here to reflect on the day so far. I feel more swollen and pregnant than I ever did with Fox at this point in time. I am almost 36 weeks pregnant (technically on Saturday) and I’ve had a feeling since the moment I got pregnant that this baby would come early. I honestly hope that he does, but not this early. He needs to wait until at least 37/38 weeks!

When I was pregnant with Fox I never had any kind of contractions never really felt like I was ready for the baby to come until I went in for my 40 week appointment and ask the doctor to get the baby out 🤣.

Now here we are with my third pregnancy and I am experiencing all the things that you would in a Hollywood movie.

Taking bets on when the baby will be born! His due date is May 15, we have a back up C-section scheduled for May 10, and my prediction is May 4. What do you think?

#PregnantAF #PregnantLife #36WeeksPregnant #PapayaCommunity #PregnantLove #PregnantBody #3Trimester #thirdtrimester #thirdtrimesterproblems #Nesting #BodyPositivity #HonoringMyBody #PregnantJourney #PregnancyJourney #BabyComingSoon

So I didn't want to have a baby shower. Like, Ted and I talked and talked and talked about a baby shower and how we should have one and I just kept saying, "nah, I don't want to do one." ⁠⁠
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I kept feeling this way because the pandemic isolation has been kicking my ass for such a long time. It's really easy for me to just say, "no, I'll stay in," or "no, I don't want to do that," because the pandemic is a great excuse. ⁠⁠
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But I'm at this point now where I am really pushing myself to say yes to things. I've spent the past year saying "no," and the business owner would have us all saying no to more things and yes to the things that feel right, but just like Jim Carrey in "YES MAN" sometimes we can get to a point where we're saying no too much and it can really bring us down. ⁠⁠
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So I'm working on saying "yes" and bringing myself out of that quarantine mindset. ⁠⁠
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How about you, what are you struggling with more right now?⁠⁠
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#girlbossparty #savvybusinessowner #risingtidesociety #communityovercompetition #bandogirlgang #dontquityourdaydream #flashesofdelight #entrepreneurlifestyle #theeverydayproject #creativepreneur #girlboss #entrepreneur #risingtide #creativethinker #branding #brandlover #brandmarketing #motherofdragons #beadragon #marketing #socialmarketing #yesphx

Do you remember where we all were a year ago? I was def swimming in positivity’s glow with huge ambitions for 2020...then, ya know.⁠⁠..virus.
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So I resolved to flip my business on its head and change what I do. It’s lead me on a crazy emotional journey that Ted has really been there for as well as my beautiful friends @kathleencelmins, @bethanymccamish, @athenalent, @finishinggrace, @evabaker96, @letsgetsocialofficial, and so many others.⁠⁠
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Today I’ve flipped that social media management business on its head and am making the trek up the steep hill known as pivoting. It’s been a big struggle, but I’ll get there.⁠⁠
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I’m the meantime I celebrate these accolades:⁠⁠
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1. Flipped my biz⁠⁠
2. Redesigned my website⁠⁠
3. Started writing again⁠⁠
4. Am actively working on new products⁠⁠
5. Launched a podcast where I can be bold AF and say what I think and theorize on social media.⁠⁠
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Pivoting is harder than I expected but I’d rather be doing all the hard things now than continuing down a career path that left me unfulfilled.⁠⁠
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#girlbossparty #savvybusinessowner #risingtidesociety #communityovercompetition #bandogirlgang #dontquityourdaydream #flashesofdelight #entrepreneurlifestyle #theeverydayproject #creativepreneur #girlboss #entrepreneur #risingtide #creativethinker #branding #brandlover #brandmarketing #motherofdragons #beadragon #marketing #socialmarketing #yesphx

It’s true. His name was Kyle. Kyle was a real douche.

Be around the people who love you for ALL that you are and accept every Pernod you. ✌🏻
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#bodylove #papayacommunity #youareworthyoflove #breakupquotes #breakups #revengebody #loveyourbody #selflovejourney #twitterquotes #realtalk #talkingbodies #bodytalk #selfworth #standupforyourself #boldaf

Why wait for opportunity to knock If you can just build your own door? I’ve never really understood the mentality of waiting around for some thing to happen. I’ve always been a go-getter and I know that everyone has a little bit of a go-getter in them too. And if you don’t, that’s fine too! I find the allure of creating my own doors better for that mentality anyway.

After spending the last 32 years of my life being a go-getter I’ve come to realize that sometimes building the door needs to be placed on hold while we go through the other door for the sake of our own mental health.

Life isn’t all about go go go go go all the time. Life is about experiencing the beauty and variety of opportunities around us. Opportunities don’t have to be business opportunities. They can be opportunities focused on increasing the fun in your life or taking time to go be with your kids.

Opportunities don’t have to be things that making money. They can just be things that make you happy.
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#realtalk #talkthetalk #opportunity #businessmindset #happyfirst #takecare #selfcare #mentalhealthfirst #mentalhealth #behappy #journaling #reflection #journalthoughts

Fox saw I had some cupping done the other day and asked me why I had marks on my back and how cupping worked. When I explained it to him here was his response:

“I wish I could have one of those cups on my tummy and suck my fat away. Why is my tummy like this?”

He’s seven. He’s autistic. He’s more aware of his body in a negative way than I was as a kid.

I replied to him, “I love your tummy. I love my tummy. Your tummy is the way it is made to be so you can grow tall and healthy.”

When he left the room I cried a little. For a seven year old to feel that way about his body already is awful.

I thought...

Where would he have heard about something like this?

Who would have said something about his tummy to make him feel so self conscious already?

Why does he fee this way?

What have I done to show him I feel about my own body?

I can’t pinpoint it. I cannot blame anything or anyone without making assumptions. All I know is my seven year old doesn’t like his tummy and it could be because of me.

Back in 2018/2019 I was having some Coolsculpting done. I loved it. I still love the results I had from the treatment. I did it for the goal of feeling comfortable in my clothes post c-section. Would I do this treatment again, for all the right reasons yes. Would I talk to my kids about our bodies and what we love about them before I start doing it again? Yes 🙌🏻.

I don’t want my kids to feel ashamed of their bodies EVER. I want them to feel I love with their bodies and grateful for where they’re taking them.

We must change the conversation around our bodies for our kids sakes. Especially with social media being the looming impression that will affect them as they get older.

#papayacommunity #coolsculpting #bodypositivity #loveyourbody #bodypositive #comfortableinmyskin #lovemytummy #mombod #talkingbody #overcominganxiety #growinguptoofast #parentingishard #changethenarrative

This is from the summer of 2019. In this photo I am pregnant. I had no idea until a week later when I put this outfit back on and it was a little snug in my belly.

Later on in July of that summer I miscarried while on vacation in Michigan. Going through a miscarriage is so difficult and I still remember every moment of the few days over which it occurred.

Flash forward to now and we’re having a baby with only 35 days to go. This little rainbow baby is coming quickly and this jump suit doesn’t quite fit as well but I sure can squeeze into it still!

I’ve been adding lots of little rainbow type items to the registry to remember the little one we lost a few years ago. Baby boy will be our first baby together and our third child overall. He has been a big old kicker and squirmer the last two months as his space grows smaller. He’ll be here shortly but in the meantime he’s giving me some extra morning sickness this week.
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Outfit: Q Clothing
Filter: @pinkpapayaapp
#jumpsuit #SummerFashion #BlackAndWhiteOutfit #BlackAndWhiteStripes #OhOTD #RainbowBaby #Pregnant #8MonthsPregnant #ThingsICantWearAnymore #Miscarriage #HealingFromMiscarriage #PregnancyStories #Pregnantlife #papayacommunity

The face you make when you reach pure relaxation. Oh the innocence of a child.

#relaxation #sundaymornings #sundayvibes #bathtime #sudsy #selfcaresunday #selfcare #kidsarecute #mykidsaremylife #kidsofinstagram #kidsinspo #pinkpapayaapp #bubblebath

So I’m at this point in my pregnant life where my body has just expanded to the max. And rather than fighting it and hiding it underneath as many clothes as humanly possible I’ve decided to grin and wear whatever I need to to feel good.

I remember when I was pregnant with Fox I also got pretty swollen and pretty big. When I posted things on Instagram people would say that I was fat pregnant. Funny thing was I was the average weight for a pregnant woman my height.

With this second pregnancy I’m a bit bigger yes, but IDGAF. Cottage cheese thighs are here for your consumption. ✌🏻🎉

#PregnancyWorkout #PregnantFitness #PregnantFit #PregnancyExercise #PregnantPersonalTrainer #PregnantTraining #PregnantFitMom #PregnantAndHealthy #PregnantNotPowerless #healthynotfat #doingmypart #papayacommunity #thickwomen #thickandcurvy #pregnantandcurvy

Over the weekend I got the Covid vaccine. As the needle hit my upper arm, I shed a few tears.

This vaccine means I will be able to go out again. I can safely see my friends again. I will pass the immunity I get into my baby. I will be less anxious about being around humans outside my ten people I’ve seen throughout the pandemic.

This vaccine means more freedom for so many and I am so grateful.

How did a pregnant person do with the vaccine? Well I had a not ideal reaction to it. I was hypotensive for a day, dizzy, headaches, and exhaustion. Today, I feel fine aside from my arm where I got the shot. It feels as though I was punched in the arm. But other than that I’m fine.

Now, am I going to keep wearing a mask? Yes. Am I going to keep making sure my kids are safe? Yes 👏🏻. Getting vaccinated prevents hospitalization and death. Getting vaccinated increases the likelihood of me being okay IF I get it.

Getting vaccinated is important for everyone. If we’re a society that actually cares about one another we get vaccinated to protect the people around us. My mask protects you and your mask protects me. Your vaccine protects you and me, and my vaccine protects you and I.

Get vaccinated people.

#vaccinated #covidvaccine #getvaccinated #papayacommunity #protectyourpeace #strongertogether #maskup #covidpregnancy #pregnant #pregnantbelly #sevenmonthspregnant #7monthspregnant

Bougainville plant in our front yard is blooming like crazy right now. I honestly can’t wait to drape the amazing long arms of the beautifully flowering plant around my body and take a picture because I feel like I just want to wear a boa of flowers.

But in serious news I have something to say about your mindset and your business. Swipe on through and listen in!

#pivot #adapt #change #adaptingishard #changeisgood #pivotyourbusiness #pivotyourmindset #growthmindset #plantsmakepeoplehappy #springisintheair #papayacommunity #selfworth #pink

Sometimes it’s really hard to I look at myself as more than just a label. Over the last two years I’ve been diagnosed with a variety of different conditions and mental health disorders that just lead me to believe that I am nothing but those labels.

but the fact is...

I am not my asthma
I am not my depression
I am not my anxiety
I am not my fibromyalgia
I am not my migraines
I am not just a mom
I am not just a female
I am not my trauma
I am not my PTSD
I am not just a wife

I am more than the sum of my labels.

#labels #sumofmyflaws #sumofmyparts #papayacommunity #asthma #asthmapump #asthmatic #fibromyalgia #chronicillness #chronicillnesswarrior #fibrowarrior #anxietyawareness #anxietysupport #selfawareness #momlife #pushingforward

Just published a new piece on Mother of Marketing on why I deleted the account. Would love for your eyeballs on the piece and your opinion in the comments 💜💕.

Link in my bio has the piece available to read now.

Here’s a quick excerpt:

“But Sarah, you’re a marketing expert.” “But Sarah, you have an Instagram Course!” “This is social media suicide!” These comments just make me feel like it further pushes my agenda of having healthy conversations about social media.

We should not be so reliant and dependent on our social media accounts to relay our daily satisfaction to the world, nor should we rely on our social media accounts to show how “good” we’re doing in life. Our followers are not a number that defines how successful we are or are not.

#instagramwriters #instagramwriterscommunity #papayacommunity #mentalhealth #antisocialmedia #opinionsmatter? #doingme #ambition #redefined #headspace #energyclearing #clearingmymind #loveyourself #selfcare #worthiness #marketingblogger

It’s pupaccino o’clock over here. Good morning to you all. Today I’m going to go in depth about why I am deleting my Instagram account with over 6,000 followers. So stay tuned if you’d like.

#dogsofinstagram #dogsofinsta #puppiesforall #puppylove #pupaccino #starbucks #lovemydog #dogsarelove #fourleggedcreature
#jeepdog #dogsinjeeps #nationalpuppyday

Edited with: @pinkpapayaapp
Handbag is: @amerii
My arm is a: @chaserbrand sweatshirt
Finn is: Love ❤️

Just one of many things I do. I’ve been working with @stefanieoconnell on @statementcards since she launched the biz in 2019.

Once the cards are designed by the Sri toast, I get them ordered, printed, shipped to Stefanie, and then snag a few to do some photo shoots with.

This year she launched a valentines days series that was the bees knees. I bought some chocolates and little decor items to create some fun back drops.

I have also created some more designed ones with flatlays in photoshop. It’s a really fun female-oriented project to work on and really enjoy myself.
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#statementcards #makeastatment #productshoot #valentine #cardsforwomen #stationary #thisislove #boxofchocolates #personalfinance #greetingcards #greetingcardsofinstagram #cardshop

Today I promised myself I would appreciate and love my body for what it is. And so I present to you... 32 weeks (7 months) pregnant Sarah. I’m highlighting my stretch marks because they’re not something to be embarrassed by. I’m showing off my legs because my cellulite does not define my beauty.

I’m also including the unfiltered images of you slide through because while nice colored filters are fun, reality is even better.

Edited with: @pinkpapayaapp
Wearing: @7forallmankind denim shirt with my @ingridandisabel #bellaband
@targetstyle pink tye dye maternity tee, and Peyton Jenson cardigan from @evereveofficial (shorts purchased through Evereve too).
Hair: God’s will.

#pregnantbelly #pregnancystyle #maternityfashion #papayacommunity #bodypositive #lovemyscars #stretchmarks #secondpregnancy #expectingmama #bisexualpregnancy #respectingmybody #soulawakening #bodylove #selflove #worthywomen #wombwellness

Our blended/rainbow baby Dax is coming very soon. I’m feeling Uber nostalgic atm and went through some old videos and photos of Mr. Fox, my first boy and it makes me even more impatient than I already am to get on with it.

Side note, Instagram used to do this thing where you could make in-app videos that were very vine-like and as you scroll through you’ll see some of those 💜.

#babyboy #newbornbaby #toddlersofinstagram #babiesofinstagram #babyfeet #newbornlove #babymama #newbornsofinstagram #freshbaby

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